I found the problem, along with the difference between working and not. And I found that ftp doesn't actually fail, it just takes 45s for the username prompt to appear. Reason ?
Just like ssh not working (FreeBSD standard install) due to UseDNS, DNS is the culprit again. More (useless) security via stupidity. When I installed one box, I added 2 DNS servers, IPv4 & 6. The other, working ? None. That's the reason.for the 45s wait.
I have figured out that the DNS servers are in resolve-something, but not how to disable this insanity. I have been in networking since 1990 +/- depending on how you count. and reverse lookups are about as secure as sticking my head in the sand. utter stupidity IMHO. This is true useless security and should never be a default for any OS.
Is it inetd that 'controls' ftpd (and sshd) ? How do Ifix this ?
While I'm asking, why does sshd work when it is commented in inetd.conf ?